E. Clampus Vitus Exposed
According to E. Clampus Vitus legend, St. Vitus devoted 37 years of study and unbiblical contemplation to seek out the fundamental truths bound up in the mystic title of the order. He began writing a cabalistic treatise on the subject in 83 volumes. Still, so far as anyone has been able to discover, he got no further than the first 3 words: Credo Quia Absurdum. Which means I believe it because it is absurd. In this episode of Ricky's Historical Tidbits, I will attempt to share with you an expose' complete with the ancient history through the 3 main ages of Clamperdom.
Continuing on from the E. Clampus Vitus Legend. After writing those 3 words, Credo Quia Absurdum, St. Vitus was captured and thrown to the lions by Emperor Diocletian. The order continued on though through the Vituscan Brothers. back then the phrase was Ecce Lampas Vitae which meant "behold the light of life"
Now, in the mid-20th century, there was a discovery at the Vatican library. A letter written by Helodoricus who was a Vituscan Monk, the letter tells the story of when he and 9 other Vituscan missionaries went to the far east land of ancient china, only 2 of the 9 and Helodoricus survived. the names of which were Stomachus and Bellicosus. Once in China, they went to Emperor Hee Sing Li, and there the Vituscans converted the emperor who is the one who changed the name to E. Clampus Vitus.
In 1890 according to the E. Clampus Vitus Legend, a Man named Dr. Shaw of New York went to China and discovered a manuscript that dated back to the year 435 AD, the writings told the story of a Chinese navigator who accidentally discovered America. While out at sea the wind blew him further into the abyss, somehow a bug of some sort climbed into his compass and died. In doing this the compass' needle got messed up. Hee Li, the navigator sailed East forever until he landed at Monterey, seeing as it was a new land he claimed it for China naming it Gum Shan, and began teaching the Ancient Order of E. Clampus Vitus to the natives.
Now the legend continues even further, Word got back to China that Gum Shan was claimed for China and it was a land where E. Clampus Vitus was widely accepted. So another man set sail for the land bringing 300 slave girls with him to populate the land for the order. On the Journey, one particular slave girl led a revolt and threw all the men overboard and the sharks ate them up. That Slave girl was named Hop Mee and she claimed herself, empress of the land of Gum Shan, it is said she is the person that the legend of Calafia is based.
The last part of their ancient history is this, The first Clamper in recorded history showed up at the end of the Mesozoic era and quickly made himself a red shirt and then made the first Hewgag which is a horn, from the horn of a triceratops.
Okay, E. Clampus Vitus if you couldn't tell by now, is a total joke on secret societies like the Freemasons and the Oddfellows.
Ephraim Bee and the 1st age of Clamperdom
It was created by a guy named Ephraim Bee in Virginia before it became West Virginia. Ephraim was born in the first few years of 1800 but nobody seems to know exactly. He was mainly a tavern and hotel owner and a blacksmith. He was not a high society man who would be admitted into high-class fraternities like the Freemasons he also had a speech impediment which didn't help him either. So he lived a life of practical jokes, one day a man named Caleb Cushing came to Virginia from China and he came up with a great idea to make fun of the stuffed shirt guys and created a secret society called E. Clampus Vitus, The idea behind it would be that it is a special ancient order with many secrets of truth and knowledge that came from China. The scion of the house of Confucius was charged to instruct the new grand gyanscutis in the rules, secrets, and sacred mysteries and to communicate the grip, signs, and password of E. Clampus Vitus.
He went on to put an announcement in the newspaper…
“Mr. Bee was first commissioned Grand Gyascutis for the United States of America by the Grand Hotote of China”
Which got lots of attention, He would then tell them they must be initiated to join the brotherhood and receive the ancient secrets of the universe. So initiations began, I'm not sure exactly what they were in the beginning but for the most part, it was all kinds of things making fun of the ones the masons did. A poor blind candidate as they call potential members would be blindfolded and brought into a room. They would sit at what was called the Expungents chair and pass through the cave of silence, after that they would ride the rocky road and then experience the elevation of man, take some oaths and then endure the obliterating obfuscation, receive the staff of relief and then his initiation fee would be converted to liquid assets and consumed by the other members. I wasn't able to figure out all of those but the cave of silence was where a candidate would sit with a curved sheet of metal around him and the members would bang hammers all around him, the rocky road is where a candidate would sit in a wheelbarrow with a wet sponge in it and be pushed over a ladder on the floor. The elevation of man would be when the candidate would be put in a coffin and be asked to reveal some intimate information about themselves, then would be hoisted up into the air and dropped into a vat of water. Then of course at the end, the new member would buy everyone a round or more at the bar.
So Ephraim would go around town trying to convince strangers that the only way to do business in the town was to join a society and of course recommended E. Clampus Vitus. So Ephraim and his buddies drank free most of the time.
Ephraim has another part to history I think would be a shame to not mention
Though he had 2 slaves he helped in the Underground Railroad, nearby his tavern was a place called Jaco Cave where a man named Luke Jaco would hide slaves on their way north, when Mr. Jaco needed to move the slaves Ephraim Bee would stage a brawl over at his tavern to be a distraction while the slaves got away.
Years later, Bee got into politics and voted for emancipation.
The 2nd age of Clamperdom
A man named Joe Zumwalt was moving west to California and came across a copy of the E. Clampus Vitus Rituals in Missouri and brought it with him to Hangtown modern-day Placerville, He tried to start up a chapter there but it didn't work out. So he moved down to Mokelumne Hill which is in Calaveras County around where Jackson and Ione is.
That chapter did really well and soon E. Clampus Vitus was all over the place pretty much every mining camp had one. It was in California where the signature Red Shirts came about and the random buttons, pins, and ribbons. Continuing on to thumb their noses at the rich high society folk in the Freemasons and other groups, the miners would present each other with cut-up tin can lids as medals like the other groups who had fancy medals that they wore.
The purpose was basically the same, They drank a lot and made fun of the snobby upper-class people who saw them as peasants. But they also were very connected as a brotherhood, if a miner got sick or hurt, he was taken care of, and if he died his wife and kids would be taken care of as well.
Fun fact, the California legislature at one time had to close because so many congressmen were clampers and they had some kind of event and ditched the capital when the “Hewgag Brayed” The Hewgag is a long tin horn.
By world War 1 the E. Clampus Vitus fun died out.
3rd age of Clamperdom
In 1931, three men met up at a hotel in San Francisco, they all loved history and recently the head of the group, Carl Wheat had been learning a lot about an old funny group called E. Clampus Vitus Something he called "the comic strip on the page of California History" and he wanted to revive it. Oddly enough Carl Wheat himself was a member of the Bohemian Grove and was a Freemason.
Carl Wheat, George Dane and Leon Whitsell
He and his group created the Capitulus Redivivus Yerba Buena Number 1 and came up with the backstory I started this post with.
Word went out and out of nowhere, a man called in saying he was a member back in the 1880s. Carl and his group went down to meet the last living Grand Humbug, that's the title of the leader of the lodge, Adam Lee Moore. He told them all about his time in the order and told them the initiations they used to do. Mr. Wheat then went on to crown him Clampatriarch.
A few years later they found out a small group in Marysville had stayed strong and in 1915 changed E. Clampus Vitus slightly to a service club and dedicated things like bridges. The two groups joined together and wrote a Clampconstitution in 1940 The new E. Clampus Vitus operated as a drinking historical society though some say a historical drinking society but began placing plaques all around California highlighting the lesser-known local history that most academic historical societies wouldn't care to talk about. But they still have fun with some practical jokes.
In 1936 a "discovery" of a brass plate was made, and the plate had etched into it that it was from Sir Francis Drake that claimed that the Native Americans had given the land to England. So E. Clampus Vitus who discovered the plate brought it to the attention of the Miwok Tribal Chief who made a proclamation of revocation of what the plate claimed. A copy of this revocation got to the desk of FDR and he sent back a letter to E. Clampus Vitus saying
“Thanks to ECV, you and your children are still under this flag, this glorious Star Spangled Banner!”
Eventually, the plate was found out to be a hoax by the clampers by 1970.
Some last minute mentions
Ronald Reagan who is said to have been a clamper, when Governor of California Declared July 6th 1968 as E. Clampus Vitus day.
Some other famous Clampers were John Studebaker, Phillip Armour, Gene Autry Samuel Clemons and President Grant though Clamper legend claims many others...
Today clampers wear the traditional red shirt, some wear top hats and black vests with all kinds of buttons ribbons, and patches on them, they make plaques and place them in places where something historical happened that typically wouldn't be in a history book like Moosemilk, look it up.
This was a ton of fun to research and I hope you enjoyed this video I want to thank two clampers who sent in some info, Puke and Coldcutts.
You might recognize the guy in the middle from Pawn Stars, he is known as the beard of knowledge.
In my research, I found there is a Clamper museum in Laporte, CA called the Frank C. Reiley Museum you might want to check out. And also the Old Timers Museum in Murphys, CA
